I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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