I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
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