Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize