The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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