On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
