He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize