He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
