So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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