"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
