and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bring me that man meat
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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