You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize