I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I won the penis lottery.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
