Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
