I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
