I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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