Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.

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  (203): The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar. http://tfl.nu/eecr
  Replies (12) Good night (1053) Bad night (591)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

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  (214): The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much http://tfl.nu/5lxi
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  (323): View more from California

  Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!

  (206): View more from Washington

  Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...

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  (323): Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people! (206): Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003... http://tfl.nu/95ks
  Replies (38) Good night (783) Bad night (2212)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".

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  (361): Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom". http://tfl.nu/v781
  Replies (16) Good night (1007) Bad night (4302) Order T-Shirt
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  (+62): View more from

  This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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  (+62): This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country. http://tfl.nu/rdix
  Replies (50) Good night (1416) Bad night (4229) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

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  (860): you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance. http://tfl.nu/1cpz
  Replies (16) Good night (8202) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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  (512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".

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  (330): I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry". http://tfl.nu/b71c
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (1596) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from

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  (931): That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from http://tfl.nu/4gf0
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  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1388) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.

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  (423): Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement. http://tfl.nu/2735
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him

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  (254): He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him http://tfl.nu/fs9i
  Replies (9) Good night (1048) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.

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  (479): Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops. http://tfl.nu/gg9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis

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  (812): But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis http://tfl.nu/afbo
  Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.

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  (803): Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face. http://tfl.nu/i1ol
  Replies (7) Good night (497) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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