12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked