I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...