what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
