no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America