talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down