Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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