he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
