It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
