i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
