Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
