I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
