I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
