I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
