If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize