Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
