end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
