Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She said her name was "party"
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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