the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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