I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
