FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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