So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
