i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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