DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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