YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
