hotel room ftw
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
