sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
