What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this boner is exhausting
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
