Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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