Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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