I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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