Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
