Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
