i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
