I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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