And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
