Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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