hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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