oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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