the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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