Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
