Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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