i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I understand Curling. That high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
