I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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