I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
