Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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