More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
