I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
