will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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