I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
