Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
