we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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